i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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