I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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