butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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