I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
