You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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