my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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