Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize