he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
