I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
