My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Vodka?
Forever.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
