I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
