white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
