I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize