i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
