Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize