May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
