You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
