Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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