Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It's blow job season.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
