So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
