y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
