There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
