It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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