I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The power of my boobs compel you
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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