I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
