I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize