so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
