Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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