Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Randomize
