just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
