my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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