Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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