Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
