you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
