what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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