Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
