I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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