If i come over, it means nothing
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
