I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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