if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
