remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Fuck appropriateness.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
