Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
