If i come over, it means nothing
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
