Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
