We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize