Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I think my fart just growled at me.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
