Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
