3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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