We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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