How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize