Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
