you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
