This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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