escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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