i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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