is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
