So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
