I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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