I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
