Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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